It's because of us

DID you know why you guys in the Phil dont have class last Aug.21? And another school leave on Monday?

To find the answer, read the title of this post. :P

us- me & my girl. Happy birthday momi. I love you. :*

Grief of all griefs

The whole world is grieving.

How would you express yourself when you are in so much pain, dealing with intense sorrow and extreme sadness? Yet you have to accept everything and remain happy because she is in the better place now. He will take care of her. And nothing to worry about.

I, myself feels so sad, very very sad. I am very sorry to hear the news, I can't even believe it.

Grieve. It's okay to cry and let it out. It's natural.

President Cory Aquino, we will miss you. You will never be forgotten. You always have our prayers. You will live forever in our hearts. WE LOVE YOU and thank you so much. May you rest in peace.

And to the family, you have our prayers. Be strong. God is with you.

Our deepest sympathy.

'wag kang TANGA pls

You don't understand.

You don't understand because you are not trying to understand. Pls 'wag ka namang tanga. You are wasting your time, I tell you. You're merely destroying yourself. This is not about what we have told you or the simple things we've done for you, this isn't about lecturing you yet you are covering your ears, this isn't about the time & effort that were wasted... NO. Do those things matter at all? Of course not, this is all about you. How good you are in ruining yourself!

I don't care if you're not paying attention on what I am saying, go ahead moron. Those are not for us. After all, who will suffer idiot? Who is suffering now? I AM NOT ANGRY NOR ANNOYED.

This is just a normal reaction of a friend that's so much worried about you. Pls don't be so stupid and stop torturing yourself. I beg you. This is me begging you.
If you can't do it for those people who care, then at least do it for yourself.

Let it go. Give it up. Settle down.

You know even if you reject my words more than a thousand times, I will not resign. I'll still be your friend. But how about yourself? Until when, huh?

Turn your king down, stop the clock, give a handshake and accept your defeat. CHECKMATE ka na! You understand? MA-TE KA NA KAYA! MA-TE KA NA! And so? Right? At least you played with your best. You've done your part. Isn't that enough?

Learn from your mistakes.

I'm afraid of the person you're becoming right now. That's not you anymore, will you just let someone change you? SOMEONE WHO LIVES IN THE PAST? That should be living there forever. Permanent address niya: PAST. Why not?

You are not the loser here, promise.
That one can never find another you. Only brainless could not realize. May utak siya, marerealize niya 'yon... soon. DON'T wait for that time anyway.

Fight back, fight clean and keep it right. It is not yet the end. Pls talaga, 'wag kang tanga. I repeat 'wag kang tanga. 'Wag kang tanga.

Why? 'Di ba ayaw mo sa tanga? Don't hate yourself.
Do the thing. Do it!

Baby Boy

Belated! I have a busy busy sched, really. Just dropping by to greet you here. Why baby boy? You want me to tell the world? Haha.

There's one pinoy word that would describe him eh... bonjing! Haha. 18 years old na may kasama pa yang yaya. Dala yung gatas niya. Hahaha. And at the age of 16, may nagpupunas pa ng likod niyan konting pawis lang. Ganyan kamahal yan ng family niya. Baby nila yan. Hahaha.



Well Yex,
Be strong. Pray hard. Stay Cool.
Don't stress.



Once again, Happy Birthday.
Tell your bebe girl este girl, happy birthday too. I mean, Jhen... Happy Birthday din. BELATED.
You should still thank me at least, better late than absent. Nyehehe.


Take care people.

Fifth

I love you more today than yesterdaysss.

4th month

Ang daya kasi advance magpost, dapat tell what you feel on time. Haha. Joke lang ako nga walang post eh oh. Sige, find my message then.

Failure

Hey Failure! Happy Birthday. Congratulations because at this point of time, you won a chance to change your name into success. HAHAHA...!!! May pag-asa ka pa. Manalig ka. (MANALIG??!!)

Happy Birthday. :D

Olis

Why didn't you have an exclusive post for me huh?

To nudge your conscience (again haha), this one is for you... not so obvious, look at the title. Err that's not you, that's my wife :D Anyway...



Uhhhmm, no. I changed my mind. Let's make it private.
I'll cut this post here. Haha.

Quiz

That's the hardest quiz I've ever taken, I swear. Haha.

8 out of 15- without cheating, not bad. Pretty well right? 'Coz your questions are weird, how dare you ask what was the first song you sang in videoke???! And your favorite NURSERY rhyme???! *ROLLING OF EYES* How great I am to know that momi? And, I realized that you're sooo good enough to remember your nursery days, come on!! :D


At least, info says:

You scored better than 80% of people who took this quiz
20% of respondents scored the same as you
0% of people scored better than you


Should I say thanks for informing me that even if no reviews, zero preparation, hardest quiz... still- I'm the highest? (so far) hahaha.


What can you say about that huh *WINK* :P

Together

[tə géthər]
CORE-MEANING: an adverb indicating that people are with each other, or that something is done with another person or other people, or by joint effort.

***

Since the day that we met girl. I've never had anyone make me feel this way. And my heart is sure it wants to be with you. Want to give you the whole world... if you make the promise to me, I'm gonna stay. Without you guiding me, I'm lost and so confused.

What will it take to show you I'll be by your side. Cause I got you and I want to give you what you never had. Girl everyday I hope to make you part of my life... cause you know me and I know you. Girl your love is where it's at...

I'm gonna be the love that's gonna last. And be the one that got your back. And nothing never that bad. That we would be together. And we both made our mistakes. And somethings never wished we made. But we'll be okay if we just stay together.

...You're the one I'm waiting for because you give me what I need and more. Cause it's clear that we are meant to be... Together... together... we should be together

Eternally.



Thanks for always being there momi. I love you.

2nd month

Yesterday, while eating... I tried to press the keys and spread my words with so much love... I tried and tried and it's a shame to say that I could not. But I did find a way... I stopped eating so my major left hand saves the day.

21 April 12:00am


I wish I am with you to teach you how to fly in the water and swim in the air. Yeah, impossible is nothing, see where we are & what we have right now; very much happy so far. Are we? Of course. As long as we hold our hands together, tighter and tightest. "...higpitan lang ang 'yong kapit..." (OPM? Not so me. Haha.) Look! You changed something in here. Hehe.

*save now- click.*

I wasn't able to finish my post yesterday... distracted by so much ache of my right hand and head with fever ranging 39-40 deg. Technically, I'm not feeling well so what's new. I had to rush in my second home- the hospital. So hello to my family here all over again. I don't understand why am I like this. Forever unwell; sometimes I thought of giving up my life but whenever I think of you... I choose to live.


I also tried to draw last time unfortunately my hand was shaking. Will you still love me for being such like this- stupid & so inept? Inutil na lang para cool. Haha. It feels so walang kwenta, wrong timing but you know, honestly my heart is so prepared. For whatever that will come ahead.


You have no idea how much I love you. I think that perhaps we always fall in love the very first instant we feel the woman of our dreams, even though sometimes there's more reason in opposition to what we want but we keep on fighting against that. Defeat is just around ready to eat me alive until I opened my eyes.. I am not alone. I have you and we're too big to be eaten.

Yeah, I love you very much as I have never loved another woman, and that's precisely why I'm still holding on, because if I let go... love for me will just transform into zilch- like a stupid man 24/7 in the library but still gets zero. Haha. I will not allow myself to be like that so stick with me.


Blissful 2nd month to us. May we have more birthdays to come. Haha. Let us always be inspired and strong for me, for you and for Ron. I love you, mommy. >:D< :*

Dirty Billy Matt

My presence is not important as long as they were all there, ready to jam in your jamboree and laugh with you, dirty! Enjoy the rest of the day and may you have the delight enfolding your visitors (*cough* girls *cough* haha) for two days and one night. Wow! Plan accomplished.

Sorry for not being there and thank you for extensive understanding. Treat you guys next week, promise. Gonna miss you all.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, DIRTY!
(find MJ on that pic... haha...)

May you have more birthdays to come. There are still more shindigs in the future and I pledge that my attendance shall be counted. Promise.

Good luck to whatever you want in life. You have our support though obscure. Haha. Stay happy and be good, just for today at least. Haha. Kidding.


Congratulations for being the coolest guy in town! Hahaha. Keep it up. See you around. Again, happy birthday, dude.

Charlene Lyra

I am happy for what you have right now and excited for more upcoming scenes in your life. Told yah... you deserve someone better. See, he's a better man now for realizing everything and for being sure concerning his decisions. His training was ended and now, give him chance to apply what he had learned.

Wish you both, good luck!


Also, I would like to thank you for listening to my stories, supporting me to whatever decisions I made, considering my advices, teaching me how to use adobe photoshop, sharing your thoughts & tales and for trusting me truly. Thank you for being such a nice secret friend and I'm proud to reveal that to everyone.

Most of all, thank you for buying THE GIFT and at the same time sorry, it made you skip one class. :(

anyway...

Happy Birthday!

May you have the sweetest day embracing his love & care. Yihee.

Always remember that I'm definitely ready and willing to listen to any worries, fears, problems, aches, etc... of yours. You have me here. Happy Birthday.

Je suis vraiment désolé

I'm not feeling well since last week but no worries, I'm going to be fine. Aside from waiting for my sleeping beauty (because she's sleeping na sshh), I'm here to incite the conficker virus. Nothing, just to know if it was the cause of my coherent disconnection yesterday and to prove that it's real. They say it's true then at least let me feel; to feel yes as if virus is visible haha well even if it is... so? And I care because? Haha. I'm not hooked with eye-believers anymore. Leave it.

Also, I'm here to say merci! for all the prayers and love that all of you (friends, folks & mine) have shown. Merci en dépit de ou malgré tout.



Why is it that 'thank you' is such an easy thing to say yet 'sorry' is so hard? I admit, sorry seems to be the hardest word. And 'thank you' isn't the easiest... for me, it's 'i love you.' Haha. Moving on, I know I say 'sorry' sporadically but once I said it... it was really from my heart, nothing more. It's not something strained or just forced because nobody can push me if I don't want to.

I wish to end that misunderstanding so we can also be friends because I guess we're gonna click including JA on the circle. And I'm not saying these just to load up your feelings or flutter your conscience... NO. I solely want to let you know that I'm sincere.


I was only asking if I have to say so because if I do, you also need to. But it turned out wrong and produced another misunderstanding. So if you can still accept...


I'm sorry again/squared/for the second time. Forgive me. Je suis vraiment désolé.

25 Haphazard Things

Since my sizzies knew this site, ate Ian asked me to...
"write 25 random things about you! that's the usual stuff in the blogs, right?" I replied "why 25? why not 10 or 5 or 3 and why do I have to?"

"nangengealam ka? gusto ko 25 eh, yun ang uso! 25 random things about you that no one knows except you. like trivia or something. ganun! wag ka na magblog, hindi ka pala marunong." *exits*

1. I always believe that hospital is my second home, school will just fall on third.

2. The only concert that I would love to watch with super interest is Beyonce's. For more info, she's going to perform here in Birm UK on May 23 at National Indoor Arena (NIA).

3. I'm a private person and hideously shy.

4. I don't adore superheroes because when I was a kid, dad says they're just a product of someone's mind. In short, forever fiction. Haha.

5. Can't sleep with lights off.

6. I still dream of having an igloo somewhere near home. Haha.

7. I love to drink cranberry juice but don't eat cranberries. But Ate Ian is in the habit of buying cranberries every fall (cranberries are only harvested in the fall). She thinks that I would love to see and eat those. Now, revealing this will make you say "OMG!" again. Hahaha. And it will cause you a huge question, who ate those cranberries you bought last year? Hahaha. Obviously, NOT ME, I swear.

8. I can't allow to be called as a fan of any basketball stars, but there's always an exemption, for Steve Nash... I'm proud to say that I'm his biggest fan.

9. Never thought that I would run after girls. It happened once and I still wonder how the hell did I do that.

10. Perfectionist... still, in denial. I'm striving for perfection but settling for exellence. (Mr. Ford? Haha.)

11. Three most influential people in my life- Grandpa, Dad & Sir Winston Churchill.

12. First poem that I've memorized and still on my mind... the all time favorite- Trees by Joyce Kilmer.

13. Frustrated doctor and a political leader with literary career. Soon, I will be. Now, I'm like grandpa, by the following years I will be like dad and soon to be like Sir W. Churchill. Wow! Dream for it's free. Haha.

14. The number that considered as my lucky number (just according to me haha).
In mathematics, 14 is the 3rd discrete biprime ( 2 . 7 ) and the 3rd member of the (2.q) discrete biprime family. The number following 14—15 is itself a discrete biprime and this is the first such pair of discrete biprimes. Act like you understand and...

The next example is the pair commencing 21.

See? It reached 21 in such a way like that. How I love it. Hahaha.

15. Grandma is the most beautiful woman in the world. Followed by mom and followed by my future daughter. My sisters aren't included on my list though they're also pretty of course.

16. I'm not in to sweets. I will violate the law of redundancy for I am already sweet. Who wants to be diabetic squared? Hahaha.

17. I am not allowed to go anywhere outside without bringing my inhaler.

18. My dream for Neil is to be an astronaut someday. And for Nadine, is to be a good girl like her mom not like her dad (definitely kuya is not a girl, he's not also good though. hahaha.)

19. The real reason why "sorry" isn't so powerful and not so effective for me:
-It will just tolerate you for having more mistakes.
-It's the least thing you can do, then do more.
-I am struggling to avoid saying that word thus I don't want to hear it.

20. I love airsoft. Partly because it's a gun thing and wholly 'coz that's our usual bonding with my brothers.

21. I don't just give personal letter to anyone, if you receive one... you have the right to manipulate me.

22. The most important, useful and the only stuff in WWW that will receive so much praises from me, is the Yahoo Messenger.

23. If I'm given a chance to choose for citizenship, no doubt- Pinoy sana. That thing freaks me out. Hmf! For me, I am still Pinoy.

24. Deeply devout. It's not me that's so talented, it's Him for I have just borrowed everything.

25. When I was 2, I was diagnosed with the condition disturbing perceptions and relationships: a disturbance in psychological development in which use of language, reaction to stimuli, interpretation of the world, and the formation of relationships are not fully established and follow unusual patterns. In short- autism.

Look at me now, who is the real autistic between the two of us?

1st Month

Ronald Weasley

Parang ang taba ni Ron diyan no? Pero hindi talaga sa personal. Hahaha...

Tools

Bond paper (obviously)
Mongol pencil #3
Eraser
Brav's camera phone and
Imagination only
yabang! haha...

Hahaha. Pasensiya na sa Ron ko kasi hindi ko alam kung ano ba talagang itsura ni Rupert Grint kasi gusto ko sana yung own version ko, kaya ayan ang pangit. Hahaha. Besides nasa office ako nung ginagawa ko 'yan kaya ayun, mongol pencil lang ng ate ko yung nagamit ko tska yung eraser dun. Walang effects, walang kulay, hindi ko napaganda, ginawa ko na lang black and white sa adobe. Para naman kunwari nagcharcoal ako. Haha. Yan lang eh, sorry wala akong time. Hindi ko masyadong naayos.

What matters most is the effort. Kung hindi mo man naappreciate yan, ok lang. Haha. Hindi naman kasi maayos para mappreciate eh, hahaha.

Hindi ko na patatagalin 'tong entry ko kasi marami pa akong aasikasuhin ang malas talaga nasakto pa sa araw na 'to ang pag-alis namin. Kahit naman nasan pa ako, you have my heart.



One month na!!! Happy monthsary, mine. Naku naiispeakless ako, haha. This is just the beginning. Nagsisimula pa lang tayo hopefully magtuloy-tuloy pa di ba? Hehe. Kasi hindi ko kaya kapag iniwan mo ako. :( Naku wala akong masabi. I'm very thankful that you gave me a chance to share what I have and for giving an opportunity. Siyempre kung hindi ka pumayag, kawawa naman ako. Hehe. Hindi ko masyadong sasabihin dito mine, imemessage ko na lang sa 'yo kasi kung sino-sino na nakakabasa dito. Hahaha. Pati mga kapatid ko, shy na tuloy ako haha.

But of course, hindi ako magsasawang ulit-ulitin na sabihing mahal na mahal na mahal... ... ... kita. sabi ko naman sa 'yo ako lang ang pinagsasawaan eh. Hehe. As much as possible, iinform mo ko kung nagsasawa ka na ha? Para naman kahit papaano ma-ready ako.



Hindi ko na patatagalin ha? Kailangan ko pang mag-ayos ng budget para dun, haha. Gusto ko lang malaman mo na ikaw ang pinakamagandang nangyari sa buhay ko ngayon. Salamat ng marami.

And sorry kung minsan alam mo na, basta ayoko sana ng umiiyak ka ha? Sorry dun.


Mahal na mahal kita at wala na akong mahihiling pa hanggat nandiyan ka.
Happy monthsary, i love you so much.

Re: Super Sisters

There's an error on my last post, Super Sisters. I mistakenly typed "here" instead of "hear." Haha. I was totally out of my mind that time... I was answering auditing problems while posting, so didn't notice. Yex just called to inform me about the simple error who only needs common sense of a reader. Obviously, I don't own a phone... he called ate R's number and laladidada, he told the whole story.

He even gave my url to her and tadaaahhh... I saw my sister reading that post. And surprise!!!!! she cried. Touched, perhaps.

After an hour, she texted ate Ian to inform and say what's up with my one and only outlet. So there you go... ate Ian called at home and blabber blabber.

"Anong drama naman meron sa blog mo? Yan pala yung nakikita kong pinagkakaabalahan mo."
Speechless.
"Oi! bakit hindi ka nagsasalita diyan?"
Speechless. Say hi to my severe shyness syndrome.
"Haha. nahihiya ka no? nahihiya ka sa kalokohan mo... 'wag ka ng maarte. I love you too, bro. yikee... sweet ko talaga."

Finally I answered "wwwrrrr stop it! I'm not asking for a feedback."
"ang arte mo! but seriously, you didn't fail as a brother. proud kaya ako sa 'yo... yihee iiyak na 'ko nito. haha..."
Speechless again.

"honestly na-touch ako, kami ni Reich... naiyak nga si Reich eh."
"saw her"
"really? oh tignan mo, ganun ka namin ka love..." she stopped for a while.

"hey! why did you stop?"
No reply
"you're crying too.... aren't you? kayo tong maarte! sige na tama na... babye na nga."

"No." she answered "wag mo ibaba, kokotongan kita..." her voice's shaking "naiiyak ako eh bakit ba? eh totoo naman kasi eh, hindi ka naman nag-fail no. you really don't have to say sorry... *cry cry* "


I was so speechless. I waited for her words.

" *sigh* sige na, sorry... sorry talaga kung feeling mo failure ka that's so absurd for someone like you. sige na, babye na."

Then I answered " 'wag ka na umiyak. babye!"

*phone shuts*

Super Sisters

I thought it's just an ordinary occurrence to have a sister or a girl in the family except for the mom since I have two sisters, I don't really think that there is something special... so what? My buddy, Jeremy used to envy me for having two sisters for they were all boys. He keeps on saying "how I wish we have one" so I inured to oppose "there's nothing really good for having one. They will just ask you for everything out of their businesses."

True enough. They will not leave you without saying a word.

Sometimes they will ask if you want something or anything you need. I don't know if that was just their strategy so that we could talk for them to know some tiny chismis about what's new to me, regarding girls in particular. At first, it was so irritating to the extent of locking my door whenever I hear their footsteps and hit my music player to the full volume intended not to hear them.

Talking to my sisters isn't one of my habits and for me it's not really healthy- not a big help. I always thought they wouldn't understand because they're also a girl, they'll just remain on girls' side. I'm not saying that my brothers were such a big help... well maybe, for giving me such amount... so I can go anywhere and have fun, why not a big help?

But for something that's so deep and you can't burst it to anyone because you think/know that they'll just look at you and say "it's ok, all is fine" that's the time you need your sister/s.

I've never thought how lucky I am to have my two little noisy angels since last December incident. Now I pretty much understand Jeremy for envying me. Before, I was so thankful to have them for the helps, now... I really couldn't ask for more. I cannot envisage that this time would come and it feels so comfortable to see them around... eavesdropping- whenever I have calls, peeking- when I'm in front of my lappy, dialing my friends' digits (since I don't have cp) if it's 10:00 pm and I'm still outside not informing them.

You see, I thought the only woman that would care for me like that, unconditionally is my mom... so now I stand corrected.

Last time, I had to stay at the office 'til 11:00 pm due to mmmaaannnyyy unfinished works so I didn't bother to call at home for I'm in a safe place. The result?

Matt received 2 phone calls from Ate I, Ate R.
Pau received 3 phone calls from Mom, Ate R, Ate I.
MJ received 4 phone calls from Mom, Ate R, Ate R again, Ate I.

All with the same questions.... "are you with him?"

Fortunately, the three of them knew where to find me. I got mom's call and then after 3 minutes, Ate I's call and another 3 minutes for Ate R's call. Mom reminded me to take a break and rest and she could ask Brav to help me but I insisted. Just a normal conversation for mom but these two perky sisters of mine were so oa.

Ate Reich's on the line...

Ate R: hey it's too late... you still have plenty of time tomorrow. Go home now.
Me: As soon as I'm done
Ate R: just continue that tomorrow and go home now, please? I beg you.
Me: alright.
Ate R: I'll wait for you, babye!

Ate Ian's on the line...

Ate I: what time is it?
Me: 11:20
Ate I: bravo! anong feeling mo nasa pinas ka na? umuwi ka na!
Me: i'll just fin---
Ate I: uwi na sabi eh gugulpihin kita kapag hindi ka pa umuwi, ngayon na.
Me: you're so violent, ok in 30 mins.
Ate I: kokotongan kita Geo ah, sinabing ngayon na.
Me: sige na, sige na
Ate I: anong sige na, sige na... hanggat di mo sinasabing uuwi ka na, hindi ko 'to ibababa.
Me: uuwi na 'ko.
*phone shuts*


So I did go home. I'm afraid to both of them because I don't want to see them angry especially Ate Ian. She's soooo like kuya Rob. Female version of kuya Rob's attitude. You think nothing happened because of her over silent mouth and you cannot hear any sermons. But her silence will kill you and it takes a lot of time to reconcile. So no to indecisiveness, I packed up and drove fast.


I still have many things to share but this post is long enough for saying...
I LOVE MY SISTERS A LOT.

..and sorry for failing as a good brother sometimes.

St. Patrick's Day

St. Patrick's Day is celebrated by the Irish and Irish at Heart in big cities and small towns alike with parades, "wearing of the green," music and songs, Irish food and drink, and activities for kids such as crafts, coloring and games. Its a time for fun. Some communities even go so far as to dye rivers or streams green!

How ironic is it that Ireland's patron saint wasn't even born on the island? St. Patrick was born with the given name Macwyn Succat around A.D. 385 in Scotland. It wasn't until he was kidnapped and enslaved by Irish bandits that he was brought to Ireland.

Popular myth speculates that St. Patrick chased all of the snakes from Ireland. In reality, there were never any snakes on the island. This myth is considered a metaphor for converting pagans and Druids to Catholicism and "chasing" them from Ireland.

Shamrock, or just sham? It's been told that St. Patrick used the three leaves of the shamrock to represent the Trinity (The Father, The Son and The Holy Spirit). This was never found in his writings, so is unsubstantiated.

Even though he is a Catholic saint, Patrick was actually born to a Roman Christian family. After six years in captivity, Patrick was said to have had religious dreams that told him to escape his captors and convert the people of Ireland to Catholicism.

Well now St. Patrick's Day wouldn't exist if not for the man himself! But how much do we know about him? Did you know that he spent six years of slavery in Ireland until he escaped and undertook religious training abroad?

Now you know.

St Patrick's Day is for thinking about our Saint as well as the time to think of loved ones across the water.

So, here's a St. Patrick's poem inspired by greetings from St. Patrick's Day.
For mine...

I could search Ireland from shore to shore
And find no one else is so adore
From the Aran isles in Galway Bay
To the Eastern Coast and the town of Bray
In Tara Hill, Kanturk or Mountbellew
Not a soul around can compare to you
You're my love and that's no blarney
Just thinking of you makes me happy.

Happy Saint Patrick's Day :)

(I hope Yex saw that 'DRINK RESPONSIBLY' there.)

Beannachtaí na Féile Pádraig!

May all of you have the blessings from St.Patrick.

Swim

People care. You can only sense it if you grant them a chance.

You have friends, best friends (notably they're just there waiting for you to share), family and most especially The One Up There. A person possessing such blessings like that has no reason to feel neglected, as long as you don't give yourself perverse reasons. If you do, there's no ground for you to say that you are neglected.

Because the problem is in you.


Talking and doctoring yourself for quite sometime might help a lot for the reason that it's only you who knows what you want and need. Asking His guidance is excellent.

All things are easy for those who seek for easy things.

As Mang Joe (a farmer from Tarlac) once said: "What you sow is what you reap." He told that to CJ way back high school days. Haha.

It depends on how you handle your life. So, that's how you deal with it. The question now is... are you happy? Are you going to be happy? If yes, then I won't stop you from drowning yourself.

But there is just one thing I would like you to remember...

you don't know how to swim.

You don't have to drown yourself, sinking will stream automatically. And it's unfair for you because you'll just lose without fighting. If you willn't swim, you'll stay there forever. You have to care about yourself. Well if you don't, we do.

We know how to swim just shout a help.