It's because of us

DID you know why you guys in the Phil dont have class last Aug.21? And another school leave on Monday?

To find the answer, read the title of this post. :P

us- me & my girl. Happy birthday momi. I love you. :*

WOW!

After how many years... my blog needs some air, so here it is! AAIIRRR, haha.

Been missing my blog and sharing some thoughts but hey, I miss my girl mmmooorrreee and more than she'll ever know and more than how much my sisters missed her. I just can't express how much, it's boundless. Boundless. Boundless.

It's just my emotions who've brought me here. WOW! Emotional, sensational and all the -nal in the world.

I love you babe. (Ui cheesy, babe raw. Haha joke!) I love you momi. :*

Fifth

I love you more today than yesterdaysss.

Bla bla

Bla bla bla bla bla... bla bla and bla bla bla bla bla... bla bla. In addition, you must bla bla bla bla bla.. bla bla. Alright? I need that tomorrow coz bla bla bla bla... bla bla... are we clear?

Then I nodded once.

Life gets busy. I'm tired of being a schooldude all day long. I'm not used to these things, spending so much time for studies in different ways, researching for 'what-will-be-the-use-of-these stuffs' and other weird requirements. You surprised me professors, now I advice my friends from my former school including other Pinoy students that you better stay there if you do not want to learn things like bla bla bla which are not even needed in life.

Bla bla bla will not make you better, no need to elaborate. Hehe.


All of those were just time-eaters that made me miss my friends, my chair at the office, my niece & nephew, my PSP, my bed, my pet, my pen, my books, my balance sheets, my guitar, my neighbor (joke lang hehe), my team, my family and most especially... my girlfriend. (Nye pambawi lang dun sa neighbor, feeling ka nanaman olis. Haha). I love you muah.

That's all. :D

Dadi

No, you thought it wrong. I'm not here to make an entry for my dad because we already greeted him.

This post is for myself.


HAPPY FATHER'S DAY TO ME.


Haha. My wife didn't greet me so at least this one makes me feel better. I would like to thank myself for greeting myself. Thank you, Geo. I love you. Muah. Haha.

4th month

Ang daya kasi advance magpost, dapat tell what you feel on time. Haha. Joke lang ako nga walang post eh oh. Sige, find my message then.

Olis

Why didn't you have an exclusive post for me huh?

To nudge your conscience (again haha), this one is for you... not so obvious, look at the title. Err that's not you, that's my wife :D Anyway...



Uhhhmm, no. I changed my mind. Let's make it private.
I'll cut this post here. Haha.

YOU

It's been a while, can't really offer much words slash explanation to ease your worries or answer your questions other than I'm here because of... well, you should know why.

Anyway, I'm still here!!! Hello world. Hello life. Hello readers. I'm still here, and, can you believe it, still alive. I can't believe it either, but here I am. And I believe (word of the day: believe) I owe you guys a lot, thank you so much. And to my doctors, nurses, psychs, dieticians, PAs, to all... thank you. Can you believe it, I'm saying thanks to all of you after throwing you guys away.

To science, we've been friends for so long and you've been always there for me. It seemed to be like you miss me once in a while, haha. Thanks for saving me all over again but for all the reasons... it's because of Him. Praise you and more and more praises. Hail!


So, what's for now? Actually, I'm not yet allowed to put some life into my blog and to wave a hand in cyberspace because the pc radiation might affect my health since I'm taking unusual medicines and still on medication. BUT...


I SHOULD BE HERE!



Why? Number one, my eldest sister isn't around though she will definitely read this anytime today haha, at least I'm already here. Yuhoo catch me.
2.) It's because chance is chance... so grab it!!!
3.) I didnt have THE CHANCE to greet you here on your day. Can't afford not to spread my love on this day. So before I get caught in the act, let me say...

HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY THIRD MONTH, M♥MI!!!

I'm here because of YOU. No other reasons, I swear. It feels like swimming in Atlantic ocean and Pacific and the rivers and all just to see you to hold your hand and to say I LOVE YOU SOOO MUCCHHH and I MISSSSSS YOOUUUU AAAA LLOOOTTTTT.

You didn't know how it feels like nababaliw na thinking of what you're doing all day. If you're taking care of yourself, eating on time, feeding Ron and all. YOU DIDN'T KNOW THAT......!!! I miss you a lot! I can't follow them because they're not giving me what I'm asking for. It's just THE LAPTOP. Haha. I'm sorry, I just really really want to talk to you. Everyday. But now, yeah I understand. Don't preach like a father, please. Hehe.

All I have to do is to follow my doctors. Haha. Oh, don't make any sermons... I'll do it. Of course, for me, for you and for Ron again and again. :)

Before I cut this post (because I'm talking to you already) I just want to say I LLLOOVVVEEE YYYOOOUUUU so much.

Thanks for being the number one reason of my recovery.

Happy 3rd month. I love you. Mmuuaahhh. >:D< :*

Together

[tə géthər]
CORE-MEANING: an adverb indicating that people are with each other, or that something is done with another person or other people, or by joint effort.

***

Since the day that we met girl. I've never had anyone make me feel this way. And my heart is sure it wants to be with you. Want to give you the whole world... if you make the promise to me, I'm gonna stay. Without you guiding me, I'm lost and so confused.

What will it take to show you I'll be by your side. Cause I got you and I want to give you what you never had. Girl everyday I hope to make you part of my life... cause you know me and I know you. Girl your love is where it's at...

I'm gonna be the love that's gonna last. And be the one that got your back. And nothing never that bad. That we would be together. And we both made our mistakes. And somethings never wished we made. But we'll be okay if we just stay together.

...You're the one I'm waiting for because you give me what I need and more. Cause it's clear that we are meant to be... Together... together... we should be together

Eternally.



Thanks for always being there momi. I love you.

2nd month

Yesterday, while eating... I tried to press the keys and spread my words with so much love... I tried and tried and it's a shame to say that I could not. But I did find a way... I stopped eating so my major left hand saves the day.

21 April 12:00am


I wish I am with you to teach you how to fly in the water and swim in the air. Yeah, impossible is nothing, see where we are & what we have right now; very much happy so far. Are we? Of course. As long as we hold our hands together, tighter and tightest. "...higpitan lang ang 'yong kapit..." (OPM? Not so me. Haha.) Look! You changed something in here. Hehe.

*save now- click.*

I wasn't able to finish my post yesterday... distracted by so much ache of my right hand and head with fever ranging 39-40 deg. Technically, I'm not feeling well so what's new. I had to rush in my second home- the hospital. So hello to my family here all over again. I don't understand why am I like this. Forever unwell; sometimes I thought of giving up my life but whenever I think of you... I choose to live.


I also tried to draw last time unfortunately my hand was shaking. Will you still love me for being such like this- stupid & so inept? Inutil na lang para cool. Haha. It feels so walang kwenta, wrong timing but you know, honestly my heart is so prepared. For whatever that will come ahead.


You have no idea how much I love you. I think that perhaps we always fall in love the very first instant we feel the woman of our dreams, even though sometimes there's more reason in opposition to what we want but we keep on fighting against that. Defeat is just around ready to eat me alive until I opened my eyes.. I am not alone. I have you and we're too big to be eaten.

Yeah, I love you very much as I have never loved another woman, and that's precisely why I'm still holding on, because if I let go... love for me will just transform into zilch- like a stupid man 24/7 in the library but still gets zero. Haha. I will not allow myself to be like that so stick with me.


Blissful 2nd month to us. May we have more birthdays to come. Haha. Let us always be inspired and strong for me, for you and for Ron. I love you, mommy. >:D< :*

Ekis

Lagot! Ekis ako mine. Mali ako ng nasabi na araw. Nalito kasi ako aside from my friends out of the country, I was also obliged to inform the VIPs from different countries too. I had to check the office calendar and list of events for the month so I can see what is my available day and the possible events that might be revoked. Therefore, I really need to find out where they are for notification and clearance.

There was an electronic seminar held in US and most of them were invited. Time zone in US has huge interval, almost a day from here so I was in the habit of saying I'm not available on Thursday (US) which is Friday there in the Philippines.

That's my ekis mine. Nalito talaga ako.

SORRY. :(

That ekis produced silence for a day and made your sleep long enough without hesitation. Haha. Sleep well. Muah! :D Take care of our... hehe. Alagaan mo ha? Anyway, I miss you. Catch you soon or sooner. Haay.


Stay at home. I love you.

1st Month

Ronald Weasley

Parang ang taba ni Ron diyan no? Pero hindi talaga sa personal. Hahaha...

Tools

Bond paper (obviously)
Mongol pencil #3
Eraser
Brav's camera phone and
Imagination only
yabang! haha...

Hahaha. Pasensiya na sa Ron ko kasi hindi ko alam kung ano ba talagang itsura ni Rupert Grint kasi gusto ko sana yung own version ko, kaya ayan ang pangit. Hahaha. Besides nasa office ako nung ginagawa ko 'yan kaya ayun, mongol pencil lang ng ate ko yung nagamit ko tska yung eraser dun. Walang effects, walang kulay, hindi ko napaganda, ginawa ko na lang black and white sa adobe. Para naman kunwari nagcharcoal ako. Haha. Yan lang eh, sorry wala akong time. Hindi ko masyadong naayos.

What matters most is the effort. Kung hindi mo man naappreciate yan, ok lang. Haha. Hindi naman kasi maayos para mappreciate eh, hahaha.

Hindi ko na patatagalin 'tong entry ko kasi marami pa akong aasikasuhin ang malas talaga nasakto pa sa araw na 'to ang pag-alis namin. Kahit naman nasan pa ako, you have my heart.



One month na!!! Happy monthsary, mine. Naku naiispeakless ako, haha. This is just the beginning. Nagsisimula pa lang tayo hopefully magtuloy-tuloy pa di ba? Hehe. Kasi hindi ko kaya kapag iniwan mo ako. :( Naku wala akong masabi. I'm very thankful that you gave me a chance to share what I have and for giving an opportunity. Siyempre kung hindi ka pumayag, kawawa naman ako. Hehe. Hindi ko masyadong sasabihin dito mine, imemessage ko na lang sa 'yo kasi kung sino-sino na nakakabasa dito. Hahaha. Pati mga kapatid ko, shy na tuloy ako haha.

But of course, hindi ako magsasawang ulit-ulitin na sabihing mahal na mahal na mahal... ... ... kita. sabi ko naman sa 'yo ako lang ang pinagsasawaan eh. Hehe. As much as possible, iinform mo ko kung nagsasawa ka na ha? Para naman kahit papaano ma-ready ako.



Hindi ko na patatagalin ha? Kailangan ko pang mag-ayos ng budget para dun, haha. Gusto ko lang malaman mo na ikaw ang pinakamagandang nangyari sa buhay ko ngayon. Salamat ng marami.

And sorry kung minsan alam mo na, basta ayoko sana ng umiiyak ka ha? Sorry dun.


Mahal na mahal kita at wala na akong mahihiling pa hanggat nandiyan ka.
Happy monthsary, i love you so much.

Perplexed

I have never been so confused like a dumb little boy who cannot pick between Yes or No. Until you came.


You love me, I know you do.
But is it really essential for a guy to say 'i love you' first and ladies would just answer with a 'too'? I don't mind but it's something to consider. Especially if a man would just hear the 'i love you' from his girl only after having their LQ. What do you want me to think about that? I'm not saying "girls, you have to say i love you to your love ones every minute." No.

I'm so tired, the world knew that. And I'm not using my weariness for an excuse.
I'm not reasoning out but this is the perfect time for me to feel that I have someone who really cares. Yes you do, but look at me... I don't think it's enough.


How could you leave without saying anything I need to hear right now. RIGHT NOW.

Too late for you to realize (if you do), I've thrown the papers by now. Anyway I'm already exhausted so I decided to feel it to the fullest. I invited Brav and friends to swim in vodka ocean and in pool of different types of beer... besides I know how to swim.


Cheers!!! Tagay!!!



I'm g**damn frustrated. Anybody help?

Appalling Conversation

Mar.10, '09. 10:00 am (in our time) Accounting Time.

"So, you're late." So surprised to hear her talking to me since it's so unusual. Basically, I'll just come (late or not) and be seated without any of my seatmates questioning my entrance. Besides, there's no professor yet.

So just I nodded discreetly.

"My first impressions were all right." Same voice and eyes staring at my shoulder bag which I usually place in front of my chair.

Then I answered "excuse me?"

"Yeah. Don't be so surprised Mr. Reyes (they pronounce it as 'rice') I'm talkin' to you." This time, I got her green eyes with upsetting look.

"Can I help you?" After saying that, she replied quickly. And I'm puzzled.
"CAN YOU HELP ME?" I can't imagine she could talk in a high tone. She's not shouting but it's not her normal pitch. "How could you help me? How pathetically could you help me?!!" My eyes can't move in surprise and I'm just looking at her blankly.

So I grabbed her arms and took her outside, find a right place for this kind of conversation.

"What's your problem? You know you can really talk in a nice way. I will listen." My voice was shaking not because I'm afraid but I don't know what to say.

"You tricked me and tricking me and you made me find myself stupid!!! Aren't you? AREN'T YOU!?" Tears flowing in her eyes and my heart pumps so fast. This time, I really don't know what to do. How could I be so insensitive with someone's emotional state.

"You just played with my feelings, Geo! You messed up everything in me!! Didn't you know that? Huh?? DIDN'T YOU KNOW THAT!!!???" Perfect. The words I loathed to hear.

"STOP SHOUTING! HOW THE HELL I MESSED YOU UP!?? *sigh* Can't we talk in a better way? Because I hardly understand. Where those words came from?"

"From my heart."

"What did I do? What? Can you--"

"See you didn't know. I love you. From the very start. Even before you hang out with Nicole and her group. And I assumed you feel the same after being with them. You treated me so nice and I thought I was so special. You keep on doing things just to get my attention. How could you be so gentleman with someone you didn't like after all? How could you let me feel so distinct from others without liking me?"

"I... I like you as--"

"As a friend. Don't say the heartbreaking word. That is why... *sigh* I don't bother to speak with you from the very start. I knew it's your nature to care and to love people... girls in particular, so I'd rather have my mouth closed. At first, I thought you like Nicole then I noticed not. You're just being good and yeah I can't hold on to my plans... so see, it's killing me now."

I can't say a word. How the hell could I? I didn't know these. She's nice and if I'm going to choose a girl in school to be my girlfriend, I'll pick her... but our feelings for each other are parallel. It's the friendship that I could only offer. The worst? She's just a friend to me ever since.

"I'm sorry if--" I told her and she interrupted again.

"No, you dont have to say that. We're friends right? It's nothing to me because it was all my fault. I respect you and everything about you."

"But how did you know?"

"From MJ's... you know, keep on spreading your blog. Writing here, writing there. So one time I tried to visit *while nodding* perfect, at least I know now. You told me, yeah but I took that as a joke. I just really really thought that I'm the one. Ha-ha stupid."

"Can we still be friends? Like before?"

"Do you really love your girlfriend more than you love me?"

I nodded thrice.

She smiled, wiping her tears. "My pleasure. At least I know where should I place myself."
I hugged her and whispered "I'm sorry."

"And oh, *she pushed me* your girl might get jealous. I just want you to do me a favour."

I exhaled and asked "what?"

She flipped her hair. "Put our whole conversation in your blog. Wanna read it and let's see if you can remember. So, let's now go inside." she muttered with her beautiful gloomy eyes.

BLACK

Alam ko ayaw mo ng dark colors like this but I want you to know that this is going to be me without you, so don't ever try. Please.

And one more thing, gusto ko lang din na ma-appreciate mo lahat ng bagay na hindi mo naman gusto. At least, appreciate 'di ba? Siguro maa-appreciate mo 'to kasi ako ang gumawa, pero sana sa ibang bagay, mai-apply mo rin. See the beauty in everything.

Sorry if sometimes I made you cry, unintentionally. Hindi ko ginustong gawin yon, swear. Kaya as much as possible, iniiwasan ko. Believe me, hindi ko gustong umiiyak ka. :( Mas nasa-sad ako. So, yun lang. Naghihintay ka kaya hindi ko na patatagalin pa 'to.



This is for you. I love you, mine. :D

Adik

Siyempre ayaw kong gawing english ang post na 'to dahil sa mga cheesy kong kaibigan dito. Cheesy...mosa... cheesymosa! Haha. Kaya Pau, 'wag mo na itranslate maawa ka naman sa 'kin. Every single day na lang na magkakasama-sama tayo, question and answer na lang ba at ikaw naman si translate. Mapagod ka naman.

MJ, mind your own business this post isn't for you, nor for Pau. So let me, LET ME, let me finish this in tagalog (i hope i can) to the fullest extent of my power. Wehehe.

Para na 'kong adik. Nalulungkot ako kapag hindi kami nakakapag-usap. Oi walang akong pakealam sa mga disparaging readers diyan. Bahala kayo, magbasa na lang kayo. Haha. Don't tell me that I'm insane, kasi nung pinanganak ako... sabi yata nung doctor eh I'm going to be insane raw paglaki ko. Tinutupad ko lang naman ngayon para hindi sila mapahiya sa parents ko. Haha.

You're like a heroin to me. Sus! GASGAS! Haha. Nakaka-adik. Haha. Parang alam ko na yung ikcomment ni Ancis dito. Hi Ancis, magbasa ka na lang. Tigilan na yang kaka-eww mo. Hahaha.

Wala gusto ko lang maglabas ng kalungkutan sa blog ko. Nalulumbay ako. NALULUMBAY!!! Hahaha. Tignan mo yung first and last post ko for February, both were exclusively for you. Ganyan kita ka-mahal eh. Hindi ko namamalayan, sa 'yo na lang umiikot ang blog ko. Hehe.

Pinag-aaralan ko rin pala 'yung Adobe Photoshop. Naistorbo ko pa si Charlene (thanks super!) ng wala sa oras. As if mabasa ni Charlene 'to and as if natutunan ko naman. Haha. I don't persevere for such a thing. But thanks to her, really.

Wala akong ginawa maghapon kundi isipin ka. Haha ang corny talaga pero totoo. Papacheck-up na nga ako bukas, malala na yata ako. Ang lakas na yata ng tama ko. I just mmmmiiiiiissssssss you so much. Bakit ganun? Kahit may messenger, hindi pa rin enough. I want you, only you. Walang halong cheesy...mosa around. Haha. (pero nagpapasalamat pa rin ako sa mga cheesy naming messengers. hehe.)

YUN LANG.

Uy mine! wwaaalllaaa... i love you. :(

I love my girlfriend

I'm not sure about how good I am in relationship but to whatever degree, I'm always extorting my aptitude to keep the spark between me and my lady. These words look trite for audiences but you'll never know unless you're my girl.

I found myself startled with burgeoning feelings for none other than you, day in day out. I'm intensely bothered if you feel the same way or not partly because I don't want to leave myself from nowhere again. I'll be in trouble if you let me go. Lagot ka! Hehe.

It doesn't really matter how cold you are to me because my immunity goes beyond JC Tiuseco can do. And it's nothing too if you cheer for Chris Tiu since I can throw in goal farther than the 3-pt. line and more than he could. Hahaha. Walang kayabang-yabang, promise. Just stating facts. :D

Why am I saying these? I don't know too. I was just looking at your picture for a moment or two and they say a picture tells 1000 words (or more haha) but when I see yours, I can only see 3 --I love you. :P

That's not a banat ha, original talaga yan. Hehe.

Well to end this post, I can't really say how much I love you because it would be so sweet I would turn into an orange and you just might eat me alive. Hahahaha. Humble. Thank you.

Mine

Nothing, i just miss you so much. I love you. Muah...

Now

Sabi nila... " 'wag mong pilitin ang ayaw." Bakit naman ako? Gustong-gusto kong pilitin ang umaayaw. Kahit alam kong hindi pwede, kahit alam kong malabo at kahit hindi ko alam kung saan tutungo. (TUTUNGO!!!)

Isa lang naman kasi ang sinisigurado ko, dun ako kung saan ako masaya. Kahit maraming kontra, kahit maraming umeeksena. Kahit ayaw pa ng lahat. And even if all people doubt my capacity or let's say "the whole me." I do not care, not at all.

" 'Wag mo nang subukan. masasaktan ka lang ulit." Mending a broken heart has never been an easy thing for me. I was obliged to undergo in a thorough physical and mental examination. Funny but true. Yet I'm not fearful enough to love all over again. Without pain, there's no gratification. I miss disturbance. I need trouble. I want to risk and to love once more.

I wish to feel that I'm still alive. Breathing. Kicking. Wondering. And loving someone.

Now that I found you,

hope soars...

faith rises...

and heart beats again.

Happy Valentines, Moley.

May you have the sweetest day embracing every moment of my overwhelming thoughts of you. *hugs* & *kisses* (saluhin mo, hinagis ko na. haha.)


PS:
Sinubukan kong iexpress sa tagalog ha, nakailang ulit na ako pero hindi ko nagawa. Ok na yan mukha namang maiintindihan mo. Hahaha. Behlat!!!

Pre-Valentine

I will bring you here... inside my heart; where there's nothing else but love...

~~~

He tossed away the arrows

A computer he acquired
Now the cyberspace cupid
Was electronically wired

Whilst clicking on the keys
Greetings he shall write
Valentines etched with love
Make the worldwide flight

As cupid will virtually reach
With loving cards online
Many hearts he will inspire
Asking Be my Valentine

In connecting heart to heart
No distance is too far
With cupids search engine
He knows where you are

***

***
+

Keeping myself optimistic
Each day begins anew
Looking on the bright side
That's what I had to do

Erasing negative thoughts
So doubts will disappear
In knowing I have patience
I continued to persevere

Persistence always helps
In using determination
I'm never one for giving up
Whatever the situation

In believing all is possible
That is so true of me
Everyday I remind myself
Determined I shall be

***

...if i could just get closer to you.