Wednesday, December 16, 2009
Merci
Thursday, October 29, 2009
I never thought...
Monday, September 21, 2009
Friday, September 11, 2009
WOW!
Been missing my blog and sharing some thoughts but hey, I miss my girl mmmooorrreee and more than she'll ever know and more than how much my sisters missed her. I just can't express how much, it's boundless. Boundless. Boundless.
It's just my emotions who've brought me here. WOW! Emotional, sensational and all the -nal in the world.
I love you babe. (Ui cheesy, babe raw. Haha joke!) I love you momi. :*
Saturday, August 1, 2009
Grief of all griefs
How would you express yourself when you are in so much pain, dealing with intense sorrow and extreme sadness? Yet you have to accept everything and remain happy because she is in the better place now. He will take care of her. And nothing to worry about.
I, myself feels so sad, very very sad. I am very sorry to hear the news, I can't even believe it.
Grieve. It's okay to cry and let it out. It's natural.
President Cory Aquino, we will miss you. You will never be forgotten. You always have our prayers. You will live forever in our hearts. WE LOVE YOU and thank you so much. May you rest in peace.
And to the family, you have our prayers. Be strong. God is with you.
Our deepest sympathy.
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
'wag kang TANGA pls
You don't understand because you are not trying to understand. Pls 'wag ka namang tanga. You are wasting your time, I tell you. You're merely destroying yourself. This is not about what we have told you or the simple things we've done for you, this isn't about lecturing you yet you are covering your ears, this isn't about the time & effort that were wasted... NO. Do those things matter at all? Of course not, this is all about you. How good you are in ruining yourself!
I don't care if you're not paying attention on what I am saying, go ahead moron. Those are not for us. After all, who will suffer idiot? Who is suffering now? I AM NOT ANGRY NOR ANNOYED.
This is just a normal reaction of a friend that's so much worried about you. Pls don't be so stupid and stop torturing yourself. I beg you. This is me begging you.
If you can't do it for those people who care, then at least do it for yourself.
Let it go. Give it up. Settle down.
You know even if you reject my words more than a thousand times, I will not resign. I'll still be your friend. But how about yourself? Until when, huh?
Turn your king down, stop the clock, give a handshake and accept your defeat. CHECKMATE ka na! You understand? MA-TE KA NA KAYA! MA-TE KA NA! And so? Right? At least you played with your best. You've done your part. Isn't that enough?
Learn from your mistakes.
I'm afraid of the person you're becoming right now. That's not you anymore, will you just let someone change you? SOMEONE WHO LIVES IN THE PAST? That should be living there forever. Permanent address niya: PAST. Why not?
You are not the loser here, promise.
That one can never find another you. Only brainless could not realize. May utak siya, marerealize niya 'yon... soon. DON'T wait for that time anyway.
Fight back, fight clean and keep it right. It is not yet the end. Pls talaga, 'wag kang tanga. I repeat 'wag kang tanga. 'Wag kang tanga.
Why? 'Di ba ayaw mo sa tanga? Don't hate yourself.
Do the thing. Do it!
Saturday, July 25, 2009
Baby Boy
There's one pinoy word that would describe him eh... bonjing! Haha. 18 years old na may kasama pa yang yaya. Dala yung gatas niya. Hahaha. And at the age of 16, may nagpupunas pa ng likod niyan konting pawis lang. Ganyan kamahal yan ng family niya. Baby nila yan. Hahaha.
Well Yex,
Be strong. Pray hard. Stay Cool.
Don't stress.
Once again, Happy Birthday.
Tell your bebe girl este girl, happy birthday too. I mean, Jhen... Happy Birthday din. BELATED.
You should still thank me at least, better late than absent. Nyehehe.
Take care people.
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
Sunday, July 12, 2009
Bla bla
Then I nodded once.
Life gets busy. I'm tired of being a schooldude all day long. I'm not used to these things, spending so much time for studies in different ways, researching for 'what-will-be-the-use-of-these stuffs' and other weird requirements. You surprised me professors, now I advice my friends from my former school including other Pinoy students that you better stay there if you do not want to learn things like bla bla bla which are not even needed in life.
Bla bla bla will not make you better, no need to elaborate. Hehe.
All of those were just time-eaters that made me miss my friends, my chair at the office, my niece & nephew, my PSP, my bed, my pet, my pen, my books, my balance sheets, my guitar, my neighbor (joke lang hehe), my team, my family and most especially... my girlfriend. (Nye pambawi lang dun sa neighbor, feeling ka nanaman olis. Haha). I love you muah.
That's all. :D
Friday, July 10, 2009
HS Girls
Not here to boast but when you're waiting 1 hr and 30 minutes for a demanding professor, you can't help but smile and enjoy the hours waiting as if nothing's wasted.
Tuesday, July 7, 2009
conversation
Him: I... I... I'd like to say sorry for everything to everyone, not just for you. I've read her blog and you know, it's quite... uuhh hurting me too. *sigh* You know me! Right? It's not just because of someone new or someone I like coz I have plenty of likes. Not because of her or her or the another her. What's on your head? I just don't know how to say good bye, what's good in bye? It's not to be said, it's something that's understood. *sigh* May bago raw ako? That's stupid! Soooo stoooopid! Bagong ano? Gusto? Oo marami! Pero bagong nililigawan? *sigh* Sometimes, I can't even have the chance to brush my teeth before I go to bed it's because I'm lying there at the lab not noticing how loud my snore was then some will think that I just have another girl? Ssshhhh crazy!
Me: They did not conclude that.
Him: I'm sorry. Then they dont if not.
Me: Mad?
Him: No, of course not. Not mad to anybody. I just hope they understand.
Me: They do. What more do you want to say?
Him: To you? Same. Hope you understand.
Me: And to all the people?
Him: To all the people? Huh? Nothing. If they don't mind, please pray for my grandma. PLEASE! Thanks.
Me: Oh yeah of course, she have our prayers. Better rest now. Go.
Him: Alright.
Sunday, June 28, 2009
RIP MJ
Sunday, June 21, 2009
Dadi
This post is for myself.
HAPPY FATHER'S DAY TO ME.
Haha. My wife didn't greet me so at least this one makes me feel better. I would like to thank myself for greeting myself. Thank you, Geo. I love you. Muah. Haha.
Saturday, June 20, 2009
Thursday, June 18, 2009
Olis
To nudge your conscience (again haha), this one is for you... not so obvious, look at the title. Err that's not you, that's my wife :D Anyway...
Uhhhmm, no. I changed my mind. Let's make it private.
I'll cut this post here. Haha.
Monday, June 8, 2009
Two
CJ: (playing PS3) Jem ayoko na yan
Jem: (playing too) sige, teka. Al, nasan na yung iba mo pang bala?
Alfred: Nasa baba niyang drawer na yan. 'Wag kayo masyado maingay, nag-aaral kapatid ko.
CJ: Si yexel oh, busy sa PSP parang ngayon lang nakahawak ng PSP
*after 30 mins*
Jem: ayoko na maglaro, kayo na oh
Gilbert: ako naman. Palitan mo creeps, ayoko niyan
CJ: Pili ka dun
*noise*
KNA (Kapatid Ni Alfred): Kuya, ano capital ng Australia?
Alfred: Ewan ko nakalimutan ko na yan! Hanapin mo sa libro mo
KNA: Wala nga dun eh.
Alfred: Meron 'yun.
CJ: Capital lang ng Manila alam ko eh, ay Philippines pala. Haha. Tignan mo tanga ako, hindi kita matutulungan. Wala si Jeremy nasa labas eh, baka alam niya yan.
Alfred: Oi Yex, ano nga ba ulit capital nun?
Yexel: (deadma)
Alfred: 'Di ko alam eh. Tanong mo sa kanila.
Gilbert: Alin? Ano ba 'yun?
KNA: Capital po ng Australia
Gilbert: Australia, Sidney. Sidney 'di ba?
CJ: Ay oo, Sidney nga pala. Sidney yata.
Alfred: Ewan ko, hindi yun alam ko eh.
CJ: Parang mali nga.
KNA: Ano po ba?
Gilbert: Tama yun! Sidney nga. Sulat mo na Sidney.
KNA: Sure po kayo?
Gilbert: Oo naman.
KNA: Thank you po.
*KNA exits*
Yexel: Oi oi oi... psstt sstt Amber (KNA) AMBER!! Lika dito
Alfred: Ber tawag ka
KNA: Bakit po?
Yexel: The capital city of Australia is Canberra, it's never been Sidney. Okay? Erase that. Sorry ha, I'm playing kasi eh. Lika, let's do your assignment.
Gilbert: Sidney, pre.
Yexel: (deadma)
Sunday, June 7, 2009
One
Main character: Gilbert
Supporting characters:
Yex
CJ
Jem
Louie
Dec 16, '08
Early in the morning
CJ: (texting) mgsipunta kau ah,, bday anak qu,, pmunta gus2 pmunta,, ung ayw,, di wag!! tnx,,
Afternoon
CJ: Ang aga niyong dalawa ha, bakit kayo lang? (talking to Jem & Yex)
*no one answered*
CJ: Nice talking. Gusto niyong palayasin ko kayong lahat dito?
Jem: (while reading BREAKING DAWN) They're outside.
CJ: Sino?
Jem: Louie and Gilbert
CJ: Anong ginagawa nila sa labas?
*no one answered again*
CJ: Huy! Pupunitin ko yang binabasa mo
Jem: Ewan ko! Bakit kasi ako yung tinatanong mo nakikita mo nang nagbabasa ako eh
CJ: Eh sino tatanungin ko
Jem: Ayan si ye-
CJ: Oh TULOG! di ba? Oi Yexel gumising ka nga diyan baka masipa kita ng wala sa oras
Yex: *yawn* Nandun sa labas naghanap ng mapapaloadan
Jem: Naririnig mo pala kami bwisit na 'to
CJ: Tara na punta na tayo sa venue, iiwan ko sila dito
*noise*
CJ: Oh ayan na pala sila eh. Tara na alis na tayo, susunod na lang daw sila Mac dun.
Louie: Let's go!
Gilbert: Wait (looking at Jem's book) that was the fourth book 'di ba? Twilight, New Moon, Eclipse and that one
Jem: *nodded*
Louie: Tara na, tayo na diyan Jem
Jem: Mamaya tapos ko na 'to, tara!
CJ: Yexel gising na kasi
Louie: Tayo na ui!
Jem: (opened the book again) Last three chapters na lang
Louie: Ang tiyaga niyo talaga magbasa ng mga ganyan
CJ: Sila lang ah.
Louie: Sino pa ba nakabasa niyan? Yung ate ko binabasa rin yan. Dunno why.
CJ: Yan si Jeremy tska si Yexel. Si Alfred, si Mac, sila sila.
Louie: Maganda yata eh
GILBERT: Ano ba kasing meron diyan sa breaking DOWN na yan at gustong-gusto nila basahin, ang kapal-kapal naman
*silence*
YEXEL: (woke and stood up) breaking down? parang kanta lang ah... london bridge is breaking down, breaking down, breaking down. Haha. Tara na, nagigising ako sa mga joke ni Gilbert eh. *laughs*
Quiz
8 out of 15- without cheating, not bad. Pretty well right? 'Coz your questions are weird, how dare you ask what was the first song you sang in videoke???! And your favorite NURSERY rhyme???! *ROLLING OF EYES* How great I am to know that momi? And, I realized that you're sooo good enough to remember your nursery days, come on!! :D
At least, info says:
You scored better than 80% of people who took this quiz
20% of respondents scored the same as you
0% of people scored better than you
Should I say thanks for informing me that even if no reviews, zero preparation, hardest quiz... still- I'm the highest? (so far) hahaha.
What can you say about that huh *WINK* :P
Monday, June 1, 2009
Haha
Still senior, I thought. But what is my superiority to you?
Eh sino ba naman kasi ako para iwanan mo ng mensahe sa araw-araw. Sino ba naman ako para sabihan mo kahit konting updates lang. Sino ba naman ako para sabihan mo ng nararamdaman mo. Sino ba naman ako para maalala mo?
Haha.
Monday, May 25, 2009
A Piece Of Shit
Demmet! I was doing so well then it all went to hell.
I don't want to talk to anyone, no exemption. Whatever relationship we have (sister, bro, friend or gf) pack up your shits and leave.
Don't knock on my door, I don't want to hear any noise and useless questions & sermons.
Bye!
Saturday, May 23, 2009
Waste
Stop sprinkling your grudge, that will not make you a better man nor better than me. That will not make you part of us and be liked and respected coz you're not even qualified. That will not make you popular and stronger coz you don't really have enough power... in such case, ask your ancestors but promise to yourself that you'll not be disappointed after knowing the answer.
I pity you, Gilbert. I've never seen a man so much like a baby girl, you're one of a kind. Why don't you give yourself a clap and appreciate for just who you are?
I am who I am... and you can't change that. Even if I die, I would still remain more valuable than you, and that's even more heartbreaking. How can I help you? Is my death gonna be enough to make you shine? But I'm really sorry... it wouldn't make you any better. That's all you have. :(
...and you'll always remain below our feet. How terrible.
Thursday, May 21, 2009
YOU
Anyway, I'm still here!!! Hello world. Hello life. Hello readers. I'm still here, and, can you believe it, still alive. I can't believe it either, but here I am. And I believe (word of the day: believe) I owe you guys a lot, thank you so much. And to my doctors, nurses, psychs, dieticians, PAs, to all... thank you. Can you believe it, I'm saying thanks to all of you after throwing you guys away.
To science, we've been friends for so long and you've been always there for me. It seemed to be like you miss me once in a while, haha. Thanks for saving me all over again but for all the reasons... it's because of Him. Praise you and more and more praises. Hail!
So, what's for now? Actually, I'm not yet allowed to put some life into my blog and to wave a hand in cyberspace because the pc radiation might affect my health since I'm taking unusual medicines and still on medication. BUT...
I SHOULD BE HERE!
Why? Number one, my eldest sister isn't around though she will definitely read this anytime today haha, at least I'm already here. Yuhoo catch me.
2.) It's because chance is chance... so grab it!!!
3.) I didnt have THE CHANCE to greet you here on your day. Can't afford not to spread my love on this day. So before I get caught in the act, let me say...
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
Together
CORE-MEANING: an adverb indicating that people are with each other, or that something is done with another person or other people, or by joint effort.
What will it take to show you I'll be by your side. Cause I got you and I want to give you what you never had. Girl everyday I hope to make you part of my life... cause you know me and I know you. Girl your love is where it's at...
I'm gonna be the love that's gonna last. And be the one that got your back. And nothing never that bad. That we would be together. And we both made our mistakes. And somethings never wished we made. But we'll be okay if we just stay together.
...You're the one I'm waiting for because you give me what I need and more. Cause it's clear that we are meant to be... Together... together... we should be together
Thanks for always being there momi. I love you.
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
2nd month
21 April 12:00am
I wish I am with you to teach you how to fly in the water and swim in the air. Yeah, impossible is nothing, see where we are & what we have right now; very much happy so far. Are we? Of course. As long as we hold our hands together, tighter and tightest. "...higpitan lang ang 'yong kapit..." (OPM? Not so me. Haha.) Look! You changed something in here. Hehe.
*save now- click.*
I wasn't able to finish my post yesterday... distracted by so much ache of my right hand and head with fever ranging 39-40 deg. Technically, I'm not feeling well so what's new. I had to rush in my second home- the hospital. So hello to my family here all over again. I don't understand why am I like this. Forever unwell; sometimes I thought of giving up my life but whenever I think of you... I choose to live.
I also tried to draw last time unfortunately my hand was shaking. Will you still love me for being such like this- stupid & so inept? Inutil na lang para cool. Haha. It feels so walang kwenta, wrong timing but you know, honestly my heart is so prepared. For whatever that will come ahead.
You have no idea how much I love you. I think that perhaps we always fall in love the very first instant we feel the woman of our dreams, even though sometimes there's more reason in opposition to what we want but we keep on fighting against that. Defeat is just around ready to eat me alive until I opened my eyes.. I am not alone. I have you and we're too big to be eaten.
Yeah, I love you very much as I have never loved another woman, and that's precisely why I'm still holding on, because if I let go... love for me will just transform into zilch- like a stupid man 24/7 in the library but still gets zero. Haha. I will not allow myself to be like that so stick with me.
Blissful 2nd month to us. May we have more birthdays to come. Haha. Let us always be inspired and strong for me, for you and for Ron. I love you, mommy. >:D< :*
Friday, April 17, 2009
Ekis
There was an electronic seminar held in US and most of them were invited. Time zone in US has huge interval, almost a day from here so I was in the habit of saying I'm not available on Thursday (US) which is Friday there in the Philippines.
That's my ekis mine. Nalito talaga ako.
Stay at home. I love you.
Monday, April 13, 2009
url changed
But my sisters and friends asked me what's the new one so I have no choice, they still know this. Hi to all! Haha.
My colleagues were also informed because they're at my back; peeking while I'm busy thinking of new url 'til I changed. It's ok, they are all harmless and trustworthy besides it's useful too for immediate announcements.
trespass [tréspəss]
noun (plural trespasses) law cause injury: to cause injury to the person, property, or rights of another
sin: a sin or act of wrongdoing (archaic)
We are all unfair. We believe what we want to believe. We hate what we want to hate even if they don't hate us and without their knowledge. I'm just doing this for our (my gf & I) own good and privacy against super villains. Haha. Please act like nothing's new.
Thank you.
Thursday, April 9, 2009
Dirty Billy Matt
Sorry for not being there and thank you for extensive understanding. Treat you guys next week, promise. Gonna miss you all.
(find MJ on that pic... haha...)
Good luck to whatever you want in life. You have our support though obscure. Haha. Stay happy and be good, just for today at least. Haha. Kidding.
Congratulations for being the coolest guy in town! Hahaha. Keep it up. See you around. Again, happy birthday, dude.
Tuesday, April 7, 2009
Charlene Lyra
Wish you both, good luck!
Also, I would like to thank you for listening to my stories, supporting me to whatever decisions I made, considering my advices, teaching me how to use adobe photoshop, sharing your thoughts & tales and for trusting me truly. Thank you for being such a nice secret friend and I'm proud to reveal that to everyone.
Most of all, thank you for buying THE GIFT and at the same time sorry, it made you skip one class. :(
Obama embraces Muslim world
Mr. Speaker, Madam Deputy Speaker, distinguished members, I am honored to speak in this chamber, and I am committed to renewing the alliance between our nations and the friendship between our people.
This is my first trip overseas as President of the United States. I have been to the G-20 Summit in London, the NATO Summit in Strasbourg and Kehl, and the European Union Summit in Prague. Some people have asked me if I chose to continue my travels to Ankara and Istanbul to send a message. My answer is simple: Evet. Turkey is a critical ally. Turkey is an important part of Europe. And Turkey and the United States must stand together – and work together – to overcome the challenges of our time.
This morning I had the privilege of visiting the tomb of the great founder of your Republic. I was deeply impressed by this beautiful memorial to a man who did so much to shape the course of history. But it is also clear that the greatest monument to Ataturk’s life is not something that can be cast in stone and marble. His greatest legacy is Turkey’s strong and secular democracy, and that is the work that this assembly carries on today.
This future was not easily assured. At the end of World War I, Turkey could have succumbed to the foreign powers that were trying to claim its territory, or sought to restore an ancient empire. But Turkey chose a different future. You freed yourself from foreign control. And you founded a Republic that commands the respect of the United States and the wider world.
There is a simple truth to this story: Turkey’s democracy is your own achievement. It was not forced upon you by any outside power, nor did it come without struggle and sacrifice. Like any democracy, Turkey draws strength from both the successes of the past, and from the efforts of each generation of Turks that makes new progress for your people.
My country’s democracy has its own story. The general who led America in revolution and governed as our first President was George Washington. Like you, we built a grand monument to honor our founding father – a towering obelisk that stands in the heart of the capital city that bears Washington’s name.
It took decades to build. There were frequent delays. Over time, more and more people contributed to help make this monument the inspiring structure that still stands tall today. Among those who came to our aid were friends from all across the world, who offered their own tributes to Washington and the country he helped to found.
One of those tributes came from Istanbul. Ottoman Sultan Abdulmecid sent a marble plaque that helped to build the Washington Monument. Inscribed in the plaque was a poem that began with a few simple words, and I quote: “So as to strengthen the friendship between the two countries.” Over 150 years have passed since those words were carved into marble. Our nations have changed in many ways. But our friendship is strong, and our alliance endures.
It is a friendship that flourished in the years after World War II, when President Truman committed our nation to the defense of Turkey’s freedom and sovereignty, and Turkey committed itself to the NATO alliance. Turkish troops have served by our side from Korea to Kosovo to Kabul. Together, we withstood the great test of the Cold War. Trade between our nations has steadily advanced. So has cooperation in science and research.
The ties among our people have deepened as well, and more and more Americans of Turkish origin live and work and succeed within our borders. As a basketball fan, I’ve even noticed that Hedo Turkoglu and Mehmet Okur have got some pretty good game.
The United States and Turkey have not always agreed on every issue. That is to be expected – no two nations do. But we have stood together through many challenges over the last sixty years. And because of the strength of our alliance and the endurance of our friendship, both America and Turkey are stronger, and the world is more secure.
Now, our two democracies are confronted by an unprecedented set of challenges. An economic crisis that recognizes no borders. Extremism that leads to the killing of innocent men, women and children. Strains on our energy supply and a changing climate. The proliferation of the world’s deadliest weapons, and the persistence of tragic conflict.
These are the great tests of our young century. And the choices that we make in the coming years will determine whether the future will be shaped by fear or by freedom; by poverty or by prosperity; by strife or by a just, secure and lasting peace.
This much is certain: no one nation can confront these challenges alone, and all nations have a stake in overcoming them. That is why we must listen to one another, and seek common ground. That is why we must build on our mutual interests, and rise above our differences. We are stronger when we act together. That is the message that I have carried with me throughout this trip to Europe. That will be the approach of the United States of America going forward.
Already, America and Turkey are working with the G-20 on an unprecedented response to an unprecedented economic crisis. This past week, we came together to ensure that the world’s largest economies take strong and coordinated action to stimulate growth and restore the flow of credit; to reject the pressure of protectionism, and to extend a hand to developing countries and the people hit hardest by this downturn; and to dramatically reform our regulatory system so that the world never faces a crisis like this again.
As we go forward, the United States and Turkey can pursue many opportunities to serve prosperity for our people, particularly when it comes to energy. To expand markets and create jobs, we can increase trade and investment between our countries. To develop new sources of energy and combat climate change, we should build on our Clean Technology Fund to leverage efficiency and renewable energy investments in Turkey. And to power markets in Turkey and Europe, the United States will continue to support your central role as an East-West corridor for oil and natural gas.
This economic cooperation only reinforces the common security that Europe and the United States share with Turkey as a NATO ally, and the common values that we share as democracies. So in meeting the challenges of the 21st century, we must seek the strength of a Europe that is truly united, peaceful and free.
Let me be clear: the United States strongly supports Turkey’s bid to become a member of the European Union. We speak not as members of the EU, but as close friends of Turkey and Europe. Turkey has been a resolute ally and a responsible partner in transatlantic and European institutions. And Turkey is bound to Europe by more than bridges over the Bosphorous. Centuries of shared history, culture, and commerce bring you together. Europe gains by diversity of ethnicity, tradition and faith – it is not diminished by it. And Turkish membership would broaden and strengthen Europe’s foundation once more.
Turkey has its own responsibilities. You have made important progress toward membership. But I also know that Turkey has pursued difficult political reforms not simply because it’s good for Europe, but because it is right for Turkey.
In the last several years, you have abolished state-security courts and expanded the right to counsel. You have reformed the penal code, and strengthened laws that govern the freedom of the press and assembly. You lifted bans on teaching and broadcasting Kurdish, and the world noted with respect the important signal sent through a new state Kurdish television station.
These achievements have created new laws that must be implemented, and a momentum that should be sustained. For democracies cannot be static – they must move forward. Freedom of religion and expression lead to a strong and vibrant civil society that only strengthens the state, which is why steps like reopening the Halki Seminary will send such an important signal inside Turkey and beyond. An enduring commitment to the rule of law is the only way to achieve the security that comes from justice for all people. Robust minority rights let societies benefit from the full measure of contributions from all citizens.
I say this as the President of a country that not too long ago made it hard for someone who looks like me to vote. But it is precisely that capacity to change that enriches our countries. Every challenge that we face is more easily met if we tend to our own democratic foundation. This work is never over. That is why, in the United States, we recently ordered the prison at Guantanamo Bay closed, and prohibited – without exception or equivocation – any use of torture.
Another issue that confronts all democracies as they move to the future is how we deal with the past. The United States is still working through some of our own darker periods. Facing the Washington monument that I spoke of is a memorial to Abraham Lincoln, the man who freed those who were enslaved even after Washington led our Revolution. And our country still struggles with the legacy of our past treatment of Native Americans.
Human endeavor is by its nature imperfect. History, unresolved, can be a heavy weight. Each country must work through its past. And reckoning with the past can help us seize a better future. I know there are strong views in this chamber about the terrible events of 1915. While there has been a good deal of commentary about my views, this is really about how the Turkish and Armenian people deal with the past. And the best way forward for the Turkish and Armenian people is a process that works through the past in a way that is honest, open and constructive.
We have already seen historic and courageous steps taken by Turkish and Armenian leaders. These contacts hold out the promise of a new day. An open border would return the Turkish and Armenian people to a peaceful and prosperous coexistence that would serve both of your nations. That is why the United States strongly supports the full normalization of relations between Turkey and Armenia.
It speaks to Turkey’s leadership that you are poised to be the only country in the region to have normal and peaceful relations with all the South Caucusus nations. And to advance that peace, you can play a constructive role in helping to resolve the Nagorno-Karabakh conflict, which has continued for far too long.
Advancing peace also includes the dispute that persists in the eastern Mediterranean. Here, there is cause for hope. The two Cypriot leaders have an opportunity through their commitment to negotiations under the United Nations Good Offices Mission. The United States is willing to offer all the help sought by the parties as they work toward a just and lasting settlement that reunifies Cyprus into a bizonal and bicommunal federation.
These efforts speak to one part of the critical region that surrounds Turkey. And when we consider the challenges before us, on issue after issue, we share common goals.
In the Middle East, we share the goal of a lasting peace between Israel and its neighbors. Let me be clear: the United States strongly supports the goal of two states, Israel and Palestine, living side by side in peace and security. That is a goal shared by Palestinians, Israelis, and people of good will around the world. That is a goal that that the parties agreed to in the Roadmap and at Annapolis. And that is a goal that I will actively pursue as President.
We know that the road ahead will be difficult. Both Israelis and Palestinians must take the steps that are necessary to build confidence. Both must live up to the commitments they have made. Both must overcome longstanding passions and the politics of the moment to make progress toward a secure and lasting peace.
The United States and Turkey can help the Palestinians and Israelis make this journey. Like the United States, Turkey has been a friend and partner in Israel’s quest for security. And like the United States, you seek a future of opportunity and statehood for the Palestinians. Now, we must not give into pessimism and mistrust. We must pursue every opportunity for progress, as you have done by supporting negotiations between Syria and Israel. We must extend a hand to those Palestinians who are in need, while helping them strengthen institutions. And we must reject the use of terror, and recognize that Israel’s security concerns are legitimate.
The peace of the region will also be advanced if Iran forgoes any nuclear weapons ambitions. As I made clear yesterday in Prague, no one is served by the spread of nuclear weapons. This part of the world has known enough violence. It has known enough hatred. It does not need a race for ever-more powerful tools of destruction.
I have made it clear to the people and leaders of the Islamic Republic that the United States seeks engagement based upon mutual interests and mutual respect. We want Iran to play its rightful role in the community of nations, with the economic and political integration that brings prosperity and security. Now, Iran’s leaders must choose whether they will try to build a weapon or build a better future for their people.
Both Turkey and the United States support a secure and united Iraq that does not serve as a safe-haven for terrorists. I know there were differences about whether to go to war. There were differences within my own country as well. But now we must come together as we end this war responsibly, because the future of Iraq is inseparable from the future of the broader region. The United States will remove our combat brigades by the end of next August, while working with the Iraqi government as they take responsibility for security. And we will work with Iraq, Turkey, and all of Iraq’s neighbors, to forge a new dialogue that reconciles differences and advances our common security.
Make no mistake, though: Iraq, Turkey, and the United States face a common threat from terrorism. That includes the al Qaeda terrorists who have sought to drive Iraqis apart and to destroy their country. And that includes the PKK. There is no excuse for terror against any nation. As President, and as a NATO ally, I pledge that you will have our support against the terrorist activities of the PKK. These efforts will be strengthened by the continued work to build ties of cooperation between Turkey, the Iraqi government, and Iraq’s Kurdish leaders, and by your continued efforts to promote education and opportunity for Turkey’s Kurds.
Finally, we share the common goal of denying al Qaeda a safe-haven in Pakistan or Afghanistan. The world has come too far to let this region backslide, and to let al Qaeda terrorists plot further attacks. That is why we are committed to a more focused effort to disrupt, dismantle, and defeat al Qaeda. That is why we are increasing our efforts to train Afghans to sustain their own security, and to reconcile former adversaries. And that is why we are increasing our support for the people of Afghanistan and Pakistan, so that we stand on the side of their security, their opportunity, and the promise of a better life.
Turkey has been a true partner. Your troops were among the first in the International Security Assistance Force. You have sacrificed much in this endeavor. Now, we must achieve our goals together. I appreciate that you have offered to help us train and support Afghan Security Forces, and expand opportunity across the region. Together, we can rise to meet this challenge like we have so many before.
I know there have been difficulties these last few years. I know that the trust that binds us has been strained, and I know that strain is shared in many places where the Muslim faith is practiced. Let me say this as clearly as I can: the United States is not at war with Islam. In fact, our partnership with the Muslim world is critical in rolling back a fringe ideology that people of all faiths reject.
But I also want to be clear that America’s relationship with the Muslim work cannot and will not be based on opposition to al Qaeda. Far from it. We seek broad engagement based upon mutual interests and mutual respect. We will listen carefully, bridge misunderstanding, and seek common ground. We will be respectful, even when we do not agree. And we will convey our deep appreciation for the Islamic faith, which has done so much over so many centuries to shape the world for the better – including my own country. The United States has been enriched by Muslim Americans. Many other Americans have Muslims in their family, or have lived in a Muslim-majority country – I know, because I am one of them.
Above all, we will demonstrate through actions our commitment to a better future. We want to help more children get the education that they need to succeed. We want to promote health care in places where people are vulnerable. We want to expand the trade and investment that can bring prosperity for all people. In the months ahead, I will present specific programs to advance these goals. Our focus will be on what we can do, in partnership with people across the Muslim world, to advance our common hopes, and our common dreams. And when people look back on this time, let it be said of America that we extended the hand of friendship.
There is an old Turkish proverb: “You cannot put out fire with flames.”
America knows this. Turkey knows this. There are some who must be met with force. But force alone cannot solve our problems, and it is no alternative to extremism. The future must belong to those who create, not those who destroy. That is the future we must work for, and we must work for it together.
I know there are those who like to debate Turkey’s future. They see your country at the crossroads of continents, and touched by the currents of history. They know that this has been a place where civilizations meet, and different peoples mingle. And they wonder whether you will be pulled in one direction or another.
Here is what they don’t understand: Turkey’s greatness lies in your ability to be at the center of things. This is not where East and West divide – it is where they come together. In the beauty of your culture. In the richness of your history. In the strength of your democracy. In your hopes for tomorrow.
I am honored to stand here with you – to look forward to the future that we must reach for together – and to reaffirm America’s commitment to our strong and enduring friendship. Thank you.
Friday, April 3, 2009
befuddles
The more I'm here, the extra I feel so sick. And sicker and sickest. The more I'm here, the more I feel so foolish. I can't think... I don't know what to say, look at my blog- nothing's new. It's like my head is empty and just continually aching.
Please let me get out of here.
Thursday, April 2, 2009
Je suis vraiment désolé
Also, I'm here to say merci! for all the prayers and love that all of you (friends, folks & mine) have shown. Merci en dépit de ou malgré tout.
Why is it that 'thank you' is such an easy thing to say yet 'sorry' is so hard? I admit, sorry seems to be the hardest word. And 'thank you' isn't the easiest... for me, it's 'i love you.' Haha. Moving on, I know I say 'sorry' sporadically but once I said it... it was really from my heart, nothing more. It's not something strained or just forced because nobody can push me if I don't want to.
I wish to end that misunderstanding so we can also be friends because I guess we're gonna click including JA on the circle. And I'm not saying these just to load up your feelings or flutter your conscience... NO. I solely want to let you know that I'm sincere.
I was only asking if I have to say so because if I do, you also need to. But it turned out wrong and produced another misunderstanding. So if you can still accept...
I'm sorry again/squared/for the second time. Forgive me. Je suis vraiment désolé.
Sunday, March 29, 2009
First World
NATO Member States during the Cold War
Belgium
Canada
Denmark
France
Germany (West)
Greece
Iceland
Italy
Luxembourg
Netherlands
Norway
Portugal
Spain (since 1982)
Turkey
United Kingdom
USA
US Aligned States
Israel
Japan
Korea (South)
Former British Colonies
Australia
New Zealand
Neutral and more or less industrialized capitalist countries
Austria
Ireland
Sweden
Top 10: First World Countries in terms of their Gross National Income
The GNI based on purchasing-power-parity (PPP) per capita in int'l Dollars.
1 Luxembourg Western Europe 66 821
2 Norway Northern Europe 41 941
3 United States North America 41 557
4 Ireland Northern Europe 40 003
5 Bermuda (overseas territory of the UK) North America *36 000
6 Iceland Northern Europe 35 686
7 Denmark Northern Europe 34 718
8 San Marino Southern Europe *34 600
9 Canada North America 34 444
10 Switzerland Western Europe 33 168
Top Ten: First World Countries in Terms of their Human Development
1 Norway
2 Sweden
3 Australia
4 Canada
5 Netherlands
6 Belgium
7 Iceland
8 USA
9 Japan
10 Ireland
IMF -- International Monetary Fund
www.nationsonline.org
I guess they made the right decision in choosing Norway for the next stop, besides it's the UK with 21.3% (largest) export partner of Norway and with 7.2% in imports.
Let's see each other in Kongeriket Norge!
Lykke til!
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
25 Haphazard Things
"write 25 random things about you! that's the usual stuff in the blogs, right?" I replied "why 25? why not 10 or 5 or 3 and why do I have to?"
"nangengealam ka? gusto ko 25 eh, yun ang uso! 25 random things about you that no one knows except you. like trivia or something. ganun! wag ka na magblog, hindi ka pala marunong." *exits*
1. I always believe that hospital is my second home, school will just fall on third.
2. The only concert that I would love to watch with super interest is Beyonce's. For more info, she's going to perform here in Birm UK on May 23 at National Indoor Arena (NIA).
3. I'm a private person and hideously shy.
4. I don't adore superheroes because when I was a kid, dad says they're just a product of someone's mind. In short, forever fiction. Haha.
5. Can't sleep with lights off.
6. I still dream of having an igloo somewhere near home. Haha.
7. I love to drink cranberry juice but don't eat cranberries. But Ate Ian is in the habit of buying cranberries every fall (cranberries are only harvested in the fall). She thinks that I would love to see and eat those. Now, revealing this will make you say "OMG!" again. Hahaha. And it will cause you a huge question, who ate those cranberries you bought last year? Hahaha. Obviously, NOT ME, I swear.
8. I can't allow to be called as a fan of any basketball stars, but there's always an exemption, for Steve Nash... I'm proud to say that I'm his biggest fan.
9. Never thought that I would run after girls. It happened once and I still wonder how the hell did I do that.
10. Perfectionist... still, in denial. I'm striving for perfection but settling for exellence. (Mr. Ford? Haha.)
11. Three most influential people in my life- Grandpa, Dad & Sir Winston Churchill.
12. First poem that I've memorized and still on my mind... the all time favorite- Trees by Joyce Kilmer.
13. Frustrated doctor and a political leader with literary career. Soon, I will be. Now, I'm like grandpa, by the following years I will be like dad and soon to be like Sir W. Churchill. Wow! Dream for it's free. Haha.
14. The number that considered as my lucky number (just according to me haha).
In mathematics, 14 is the 3rd discrete biprime ( 2 . 7 ) and the 3rd member of the (2.q) discrete biprime family. The number following 14—15 is itself a discrete biprime and this is the first such pair of discrete biprimes. Act like you understand and...
15. Grandma is the most beautiful woman in the world. Followed by mom and followed by my future daughter. My sisters aren't included on my list though they're also pretty of course.
16. I'm not in to sweets. I will violate the law of redundancy for I am already sweet. Who wants to be diabetic squared? Hahaha.
17. I am not allowed to go anywhere outside without bringing my inhaler.
18. My dream for Neil is to be an astronaut someday. And for Nadine, is to be a good girl like her mom not like her dad (definitely kuya is not a girl, he's not also good though. hahaha.)
19. The real reason why "sorry" isn't so powerful and not so effective for me:
-It will just tolerate you for having more mistakes.
-It's the least thing you can do, then do more.
-I am struggling to avoid saying that word thus I don't want to hear it.
20. I love airsoft. Partly because it's a gun thing and wholly 'coz that's our usual bonding with my brothers.
21. I don't just give personal letter to anyone, if you receive one... you have the right to manipulate me.
22. The most important, useful and the only stuff in WWW that will receive so much praises from me, is the Yahoo Messenger.
23. If I'm given a chance to choose for citizenship, no doubt- Pinoy sana. That thing freaks me out. Hmf! For me, I am still Pinoy.
24. Deeply devout. It's not me that's so talented, it's Him for I have just borrowed everything.
25. When I was 2, I was diagnosed with the condition disturbing perceptions and relationships: a disturbance in psychological development in which use of language, reaction to stimuli, interpretation of the world, and the formation of relationships are not fully established and follow unusual patterns. In short- autism.
Saturday, March 21, 2009
1st Month
Tools
Bond paper (obviously)
Mongol pencil #3
Eraser
Brav's camera phone and
Imagination only
yabang! haha...
Hahaha. Pasensiya na sa Ron ko kasi hindi ko alam kung ano ba talagang itsura ni Rupert Grint kasi gusto ko sana yung own version ko, kaya ayan ang pangit. Hahaha. Besides nasa office ako nung ginagawa ko 'yan kaya ayun, mongol pencil lang ng ate ko yung nagamit ko tska yung eraser dun. Walang effects, walang kulay, hindi ko napaganda, ginawa ko na lang black and white sa adobe. Para naman kunwari nagcharcoal ako. Haha. Yan lang eh, sorry wala akong time. Hindi ko masyadong naayos.
What matters most is the effort. Kung hindi mo man naappreciate yan, ok lang. Haha. Hindi naman kasi maayos para mappreciate eh, hahaha.
Hindi ko na patatagalin 'tong entry ko kasi marami pa akong aasikasuhin ang malas talaga nasakto pa sa araw na 'to ang pag-alis namin. Kahit naman nasan pa ako, you have my heart.
One month na!!! Happy monthsary, mine. Naku naiispeakless ako, haha. This is just the beginning. Nagsisimula pa lang tayo hopefully magtuloy-tuloy pa di ba? Hehe. Kasi hindi ko kaya kapag iniwan mo ako. :( Naku wala akong masabi. I'm very thankful that you gave me a chance to share what I have and for giving an opportunity. Siyempre kung hindi ka pumayag, kawawa naman ako. Hehe. Hindi ko masyadong sasabihin dito mine, imemessage ko na lang sa 'yo kasi kung sino-sino na nakakabasa dito. Hahaha. Pati mga kapatid ko, shy na tuloy ako haha.
But of course, hindi ako magsasawang ulit-ulitin na sabihing mahal na mahal na mahal... ... ... kita. sabi ko naman sa 'yo ako lang ang pinagsasawaan eh. Hehe. As much as possible, iinform mo ko kung nagsasawa ka na ha? Para naman kahit papaano ma-ready ako.
Hindi ko na patatagalin ha? Kailangan ko pang mag-ayos ng budget para dun, haha. Gusto ko lang malaman mo na ikaw ang pinakamagandang nangyari sa buhay ko ngayon. Salamat ng marami.
And sorry kung minsan alam mo na, basta ayoko sana ng umiiyak ka ha? Sorry dun.
Mahal na mahal kita at wala na akong mahihiling pa hanggat nandiyan ka.
Happy monthsary, i love you so much.
Thursday, March 19, 2009
Re: Super Sisters
He even gave my url to her and tadaaahhh... I saw my sister reading that post. And surprise!!!!! she cried. Touched, perhaps.
After an hour, she texted ate Ian to inform and say what's up with my one and only outlet. So there you go... ate Ian called at home and blabber blabber.
"Anong drama naman meron sa blog mo? Yan pala yung nakikita kong pinagkakaabalahan mo."
Speechless.
"Oi! bakit hindi ka nagsasalita diyan?"
Speechless. Say hi to my severe shyness syndrome.
"Haha. nahihiya ka no? nahihiya ka sa kalokohan mo... 'wag ka ng maarte. I love you too, bro. yikee... sweet ko talaga."
Finally I answered "wwwrrrr stop it! I'm not asking for a feedback."
"ang arte mo! but seriously, you didn't fail as a brother. proud kaya ako sa 'yo... yihee iiyak na 'ko nito. haha..."
Speechless again.
"honestly na-touch ako, kami ni Reich... naiyak nga si Reich eh."
"saw her"
"really? oh tignan mo, ganun ka namin ka love..." she stopped for a while.
"hey! why did you stop?"
No reply
"you're crying too.... aren't you? kayo tong maarte! sige na tama na... babye na nga."
"No." she answered "wag mo ibaba, kokotongan kita..." her voice's shaking "naiiyak ako eh bakit ba? eh totoo naman kasi eh, hindi ka naman nag-fail no. you really don't have to say sorry... *cry cry* "
I was so speechless. I waited for her words.
" *sigh* sige na, sorry... sorry talaga kung feeling mo failure ka that's so absurd for someone like you. sige na, babye na."
Then I answered " 'wag ka na umiyak. babye!"
*phone shuts*
Super Sisters
True enough. They will not leave you without saying a word.
Sometimes they will ask if you want something or anything you need. I don't know if that was just their strategy so that we could talk for them to know some tiny chismis about what's new to me, regarding girls in particular. At first, it was so irritating to the extent of locking my door whenever I hear their footsteps and hit my music player to the full volume intended not to hear them.
Talking to my sisters isn't one of my habits and for me it's not really healthy- not a big help. I always thought they wouldn't understand because they're also a girl, they'll just remain on girls' side. I'm not saying that my brothers were such a big help... well maybe, for giving me such amount... so I can go anywhere and have fun, why not a big help?
But for something that's so deep and you can't burst it to anyone because you think/know that they'll just look at you and say "it's ok, all is fine" that's the time you need your sister/s.
I've never thought how lucky I am to have my two little noisy angels since last December incident. Now I pretty much understand Jeremy for envying me. Before, I was so thankful to have them for the helps, now... I really couldn't ask for more. I cannot envisage that this time would come and it feels so comfortable to see them around... eavesdropping- whenever I have calls, peeking- when I'm in front of my lappy, dialing my friends' digits (since I don't have cp) if it's 10:00 pm and I'm still outside not informing them.
You see, I thought the only woman that would care for me like that, unconditionally is my mom... so now I stand corrected.
Last time, I had to stay at the office 'til 11:00 pm due to mmmaaannnyyy unfinished works so I didn't bother to call at home for I'm in a safe place. The result?
Matt received 2 phone calls from Ate I, Ate R.
Pau received 3 phone calls from Mom, Ate R, Ate I.
MJ received 4 phone calls from Mom, Ate R, Ate R again, Ate I.
All with the same questions.... "are you with him?"
Fortunately, the three of them knew where to find me. I got mom's call and then after 3 minutes, Ate I's call and another 3 minutes for Ate R's call. Mom reminded me to take a break and rest and she could ask Brav to help me but I insisted. Just a normal conversation for mom but these two perky sisters of mine were so oa.
Ate Reich's on the line...
Ate R: hey it's too late... you still have plenty of time tomorrow. Go home now.
Me: As soon as I'm done
Ate R: just continue that tomorrow and go home now, please? I beg you.
Me: alright.
Ate R: I'll wait for you, babye!
Ate Ian's on the line...
Ate I: what time is it?
Me: 11:20
Ate I: bravo! anong feeling mo nasa pinas ka na? umuwi ka na!
Me: i'll just fin---
Ate I: uwi na sabi eh gugulpihin kita kapag hindi ka pa umuwi, ngayon na.
Me: you're so violent, ok in 30 mins.
Ate I: kokotongan kita Geo ah, sinabing ngayon na.
Me: sige na, sige na
Ate I: anong sige na, sige na... hanggat di mo sinasabing uuwi ka na, hindi ko 'to ibababa.
Me: uuwi na 'ko.
*phone shuts*
So I did go home. I'm afraid to both of them because I don't want to see them angry especially Ate Ian. She's soooo like kuya Rob. Female version of kuya Rob's attitude. You think nothing happened because of her over silent mouth and you cannot hear any sermons. But her silence will kill you and it takes a lot of time to reconcile. So no to indecisiveness, I packed up and drove fast.
I still have many things to share but this post is long enough for saying...
I LOVE MY SISTERS A LOT.
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
St. Patrick's Day
How ironic is it that Ireland's patron saint wasn't even born on the island? St. Patrick was born with the given name Macwyn Succat around A.D. 385 in Scotland. It wasn't until he was kidnapped and enslaved by Irish bandits that he was brought to Ireland.
Popular myth speculates that St. Patrick chased all of the snakes from Ireland. In reality, there were never any snakes on the island. This myth is considered a metaphor for converting pagans and Druids to Catholicism and "chasing" them from Ireland.
Shamrock, or just sham? It's been told that St. Patrick used the three leaves of the shamrock to represent the Trinity (The Father, The Son and The Holy Spirit). This was never found in his writings, so is unsubstantiated.
Even though he is a Catholic saint, Patrick was actually born to a Roman Christian family. After six years in captivity, Patrick was said to have had religious dreams that told him to escape his captors and convert the people of Ireland to Catholicism.
Well now St. Patrick's Day wouldn't exist if not for the man himself! But how much do we know about him? Did you know that he spent six years of slavery in Ireland until he escaped and undertook religious training abroad?
Now you know.
St Patrick's Day is for thinking about our Saint as well as the time to think of loved ones across the water.
So, here's a St. Patrick's poem inspired by greetings from St. Patrick's Day.
For mine...
And find no one else is so adore
From the Aran isles in Galway Bay
To the Eastern Coast and the town of Bray
In Tara Hill, Kanturk or Mountbellew
Not a soul around can compare to you
You're my love and that's no blarney
Just thinking of you makes me happy.
Happy Saint Patrick's Day :)
(I hope Yex saw that 'DRINK RESPONSIBLY' there.)
Saturday, March 14, 2009
Swim
You have friends, best friends (notably they're just there waiting for you to share), family and most especially The One Up There. A person possessing such blessings like that has no reason to feel neglected, as long as you don't give yourself perverse reasons. If you do, there's no ground for you to say that you are neglected.
Because the problem is in you.
Talking and doctoring yourself for quite sometime might help a lot for the reason that it's only you who knows what you want and need. Asking His guidance is excellent.
All things are easy for those who seek for easy things.
As Mang Joe (a farmer from Tarlac) once said: "What you sow is what you reap." He told that to CJ way back high school days. Haha.
It depends on how you handle your life. So, that's how you deal with it. The question now is... are you happy? Are you going to be happy? If yes, then I won't stop you from drowning yourself.
But there is just one thing I would like you to remember...
We know how to swim just shout a help.
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
Perplexed
You love me, I know you do.
But is it really essential for a guy to say 'i love you' first and ladies would just answer with a 'too'? I don't mind but it's something to consider. Especially if a man would just hear the 'i love you' from his girl only after having their LQ. What do you want me to think about that? I'm not saying "girls, you have to say i love you to your love ones every minute." No.
I'm so tired, the world knew that. And I'm not using my weariness for an excuse.
I'm not reasoning out but this is the perfect time for me to feel that I have someone who really cares. Yes you do, but look at me... I don't think it's enough.
How could you leave without saying anything I need to hear right now. RIGHT NOW.
Too late for you to realize (if you do), I've thrown the papers by now. Anyway I'm already exhausted so I decided to feel it to the fullest. I invited Brav and friends to swim in vodka ocean and in pool of different types of beer... besides I know how to swim.
Cheers!!! Tagay!!!
I'm g**damn frustrated. Anybody help?
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
Appalling Conversation
So just I nodded discreetly.
"My first impressions were all right." Same voice and eyes staring at my shoulder bag which I usually place in front of my chair.
Then I answered "excuse me?"
"Yeah. Don't be so surprised Mr. Reyes (they pronounce it as 'rice') I'm talkin' to you." This time, I got her green eyes with upsetting look.
"Can I help you?" After saying that, she replied quickly. And I'm puzzled.
"CAN YOU HELP ME?" I can't imagine she could talk in a high tone. She's not shouting but it's not her normal pitch. "How could you help me? How pathetically could you help me?!!" My eyes can't move in surprise and I'm just looking at her blankly.
So I grabbed her arms and took her outside, find a right place for this kind of conversation.
"What's your problem? You know you can really talk in a nice way. I will listen." My voice was shaking not because I'm afraid but I don't know what to say.
"You tricked me and tricking me and you made me find myself stupid!!! Aren't you? AREN'T YOU!?" Tears flowing in her eyes and my heart pumps so fast. This time, I really don't know what to do. How could I be so insensitive with someone's emotional state.
"You just played with my feelings, Geo! You messed up everything in me!! Didn't you know that? Huh?? DIDN'T YOU KNOW THAT!!!???" Perfect. The words I loathed to hear.
"STOP SHOUTING! HOW THE HELL I MESSED YOU UP!?? *sigh* Can't we talk in a better way? Because I hardly understand. Where those words came from?"
"From my heart."
"What did I do? What? Can you--"
"See you didn't know. I love you. From the very start. Even before you hang out with Nicole and her group. And I assumed you feel the same after being with them. You treated me so nice and I thought I was so special. You keep on doing things just to get my attention. How could you be so gentleman with someone you didn't like after all? How could you let me feel so distinct from others without liking me?"
"I... I like you as--"
"As a friend. Don't say the heartbreaking word. That is why... *sigh* I don't bother to speak with you from the very start. I knew it's your nature to care and to love people... girls in particular, so I'd rather have my mouth closed. At first, I thought you like Nicole then I noticed not. You're just being good and yeah I can't hold on to my plans... so see, it's killing me now."
I can't say a word. How the hell could I? I didn't know these. She's nice and if I'm going to choose a girl in school to be my girlfriend, I'll pick her... but our feelings for each other are parallel. It's the friendship that I could only offer. The worst? She's just a friend to me ever since.
"I'm sorry if--" I told her and she interrupted again.
"No, you dont have to say that. We're friends right? It's nothing to me because it was all my fault. I respect you and everything about you."
"But how did you know?"
"From MJ's... you know, keep on spreading your blog. Writing here, writing there. So one time I tried to visit *while nodding* perfect, at least I know now. You told me, yeah but I took that as a joke. I just really really thought that I'm the one. Ha-ha stupid."
"Can we still be friends? Like before?"
"Do you really love your girlfriend more than you love me?"
I nodded thrice.
She smiled, wiping her tears. "My pleasure. At least I know where should I place myself."
I hugged her and whispered "I'm sorry."
"And oh, *she pushed me* your girl might get jealous. I just want you to do me a favour."
I exhaled and asked "what?"
She flipped her hair. "Put our whole conversation in your blog. Wanna read it and let's see if you can remember. So, let's now go inside." she muttered with her beautiful gloomy eyes.